The Itch To Work . . . For PAY.

Next month will mark 10 years since I got up every morning to commute my job as an ad agency account executive. I did freelance work for two years following that - but on my own terms.

Every so often, I feel the urge to get back to work, but something always blocks my way - not wanting my boys in childcare, an autism diagnosis, a mood disorder diagnosis, homeschooling for a year ... And so far no one has offered to pay me to do what I do everyday anyway.

So I'm itching again. However, after this many years out of mainstream employment, I've become quite fickle about what I'm willing to put up with in pursuit of a paycheck. My previous career in the world of advertising was exciting at first, stressful all the time, then finally quite a moral fight. Turns out it doesn't make me happy or fulfilled to take advantage of clients in the name of money to please my bosses. And did you know that translates to me not being a "team player"?

I love to write, of course, but I'm not sure that translates to others liking to actually read what I have to say enough to pay for it in one form or another. Enter here the confidence issue that has plagued me my entire life.

So what to do? I'm not sure what I have to offer that will matter, though I know I'm qualified to do a heck of a lot of things - if that makes any sense. I think I need to dust off my journalism degree and hang it back up to remind me of where I came from and what I once knew I had in me.