Monday, December 14, 2009

Blessed and Grateful

I am feeling so unbelievably grateful this morning - for so many things. Last evening, Sean and I returned home after eight glorious days in the Bahamas with our neighbors/best friends/family, Mr. and Mrs. Zipps.

There are so many things I could focus on in my writing this morning - recounting funny things that happened, recalling the local people, describing the scenery. I have some super stories - all in due time.

Right now, though, I'm just overwhelmed with how blessed I am - we are.

Blessed to have the parents that I do, who have invested their time, love - their lives - in our children enabling us to get away and not worry for a second about the care of our boys. They know all the ins and outs of their issues, not because we wrote it down for them, but because they live them alongside us. The intricacies of Seth's autism and Joel's mood disorder and Asperger's are not something that can be learned, they are experienced. If my parents hadn't spent my children's lifetimes building relationships with them, we couldn't have gone away for any length of time at all.

Blessed to have friends who call us family and not only accept us, but love us in spite of who we are and all the baggage that comes with us. If I were them, I would have high-tailed it in the other direction years ago. Seriously.

If it weren't for them sharing their family's vacation accommodations with us, we could not have afforded this trip. Most of our "fun money" is spent on meds ($425/mo.), supplements, therapy ($90 an hour!), and doctors (a gazillion dollars a minute).

Blessed to have saved frequent-flier miles from seven years ago that Sean earned flying back home to Houston from Milwaukee each weekend when he was doing five months of consulting work up there. We squirreled away those miles to be used someday when we would be able to take a trip together. Alone.

Blessed to have a husband who is my best friend in the universe - someone who I cannot wait to spend time with, who makes me laugh as much now as he did 20 years ago, who I fall more in love with every day.

Blessed to have boys whom I could hardly wait to squeeze when we returned home - and were actually as excited to see us as we were to see them. And blessed to be raising boys who, despite the issues they are wading through, are adaptable enough to deal with us being gone for that length of time.

Blessed that God put all of this together in our life, and continues to do so daily.

And ashamed that I don't feel worthy of any of it.