Thursday, November 12, 2009

Heavy Load

Alright. I think I'm coming out of it. The writer's block, that is. Let's just see how it goes.

However, it's not just writer's block keeping me from writing. Recent issues with middle son (Joel) are all-consuming. His diagnoses of ADHD, mood disorder, and "possible" Asperger's (possible?) seem to be colliding and causing monumental problems that we are only beginning to figure out. It feels suspiciously like the first couple of years spent struggling with youngest son's (Seth) autism. You're living in a maze that you must try and make some sense out of before even beginning to know which way to go.

The good news is that he is a spectacular kid. His heart is huge and nurturing, and his love and eagerness for God's word are astounding for a kid of 11 years. And I am working night and day on his behalf - with counselors, with his psychiatrist, his teachers, his school, his youth leaders at church. Being a special needs parent to even just one child with issues is a full-time job. Two can feel overwhelming at times. And three? Meet me at the looney bin for drinks when my nest is empty. I'll be the one in the bingo room using bullets to mark my cards.


What I am beginning to be amazed about with Joel is that in all of his frustration with the issues he is dealing with, he pushes on. Yes, we often take two steps forward and five steps backwards. He is pulling a heavy load - a lot more than a kid his age should have to; but the way he can filter through his feelings, articulate them to us, and muddle through them is a gift. I hope and pray that he can continue to do that.

Through it all, we "keep our eyes on the prize." One of the ways we try to help Joel cope with what he's going through is to emphasize that this life is temporary. It is but a blink of the eye in eternity; and what he has to deal with now is not permanent. God has prepared a place for us that will not include these worldly problems.

There are days when I think his faith is stronger than mine. There are days when I think he could teach me a lot more than I am teaching him. And there are days that temptation gets the best of me much more than it does my 11-year-old son.

Life is a journey, right? A journey that takes turns that we weren't expecting and detours that take us off the path of where we probably should be going. I recognize that. But right or wrong, I also recognize that every detour, every seemingly wrong decision, every experience we choose (or may not choose) to engage in is woven into the fabric of who we are and who we will become.

Everything that Joel is enduring right now is building his character into the person he is intended to be. We are not privy to the "whys" of it all; we just have to try and keep the train on the tracks.


photo by Zsuzsanna Kilian

4 comments:

  1. This pain won't be wasted.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi !.
    You re, I guess , probably curious to know how one can reach 2000 per day of income .
    There is no initial capital needed You may begin earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

    AimTrust is what you thought of all the time
    AimTrust represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

    Its head office is in Panama with affiliates everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
    Do you want to become a happy investor?
    That`s your chance That`s what you wish in the long run!

    I`m happy and lucky, I started to take up real money with the help of this company,
    and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to choose a proper partner utilizes your money in a right way - that`s the AimTrust!.
    I make 2G daily, and what I started with was a funny sum of 500 bucks!
    It`s easy to get involved , just click this link http://wyvalyge.wtcsites.com/ipykexit.html
    and go! Let`s take this option together to feel the smell of real money

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello !.
    You may , perhaps very interested to know how one can make real money .
    There is no need to invest much at first. You may begin earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

    AimTrust is what you thought of all the time
    AimTrust represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

    It is based in Panama with offices everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
    Do you want to become an affluent person?
    That`s your chance That`s what you really need!

    I feel good, I started to take up income with the help of this company,
    and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to choose a correct partner utilizes your funds in a right way - that`s the AimTrust!.
    I earn US$2,000 per day, and what I started with was a funny sum of 500 bucks!
    It`s easy to join , just click this link http://adoleduh.exactpages.com/xivyhu.html
    and go! Let`s take this option together to get rid of nastiness of the life

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good day !.
    might , perhaps very interested to know how one can manage to receive high yields .
    There is no need to invest much at first. You may start to receive yields with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

    AimTrust is what you need
    The firm incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

    It is based in Panama with structures around the world.
    Do you want to become a happy investor?
    That`s your choice That`s what you really need!

    I feel good, I started to take up income with the help of this company,
    and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to select a correct companion utilizes your savings in a right way - that`s the AimTrust!.
    I earn US$2,000 per day, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
    It`s easy to start , just click this link http://ekamosepi.envy.nu/vaqazeg.html
    and lucky you`re! Let`s take our chance together to get rid of nastiness of the life

    ReplyDelete