Tuesday, June 9, 2009
When God knocks, you need to listen.
This morning I'm having a particularly hard time with my middle son, Joel, who has a mood disorder. He can be quite difficult at times and completely unreasonable. This morning he seems to have rolled out of bed with all of his nerves on the outside of his body. Seemingly benign situations send him into the stratosphere. It's so much fun.
However, he has a deeply nurturing heart, which I believe is his saving grace. He also has a great talent for dealing with children younger than him. These two aspects of his personality make him an awesome older brother to our youngest, Seth, who has autism. He can often get through to his brother and bring him around when no one else can.
When it gets overwhelming dealing with the two of them and their issues, it is easy to let it get the best of me and collapse into the defeating thought process of why must we have all of this? Why two kids with diagnosed neurological deficits?
I believe I may have a small part of the answer to that after this morning.
The tables were turned. As Joel was having his very hard morning and my talking to him was sending him further into fits, Seth was able to quietly approach him and talk him down -- in the same way that Joel often does for him. And the lightbulb went off in my head. They understand one another like no one else does; and now Seth is taking what Joel has taught him by example and turning it around and using it on him.
Oh, if only we could see and know God's plans for us while we're in the midst of it all! Life would be so much easier. But God doesn't guarantee easy, he guarantees that he'll be with us through it all.
I just need to trust in his plans - even when it feels like it's all out of control, as it so often does. Thank you, God, for making me see at least one aspect of why both of these boys were given to me with issues. It's not to make it hard for me, but to make it easier for each other.