New Math

Life is never what you thought it would be. It really isn't. Sometimes it is better, sometimes it takes a dive. I'm starting to realize after all this time, that it's more about staying composed. Keeping your head up and at the point where you can at least breathe. Because if you can breathe, then you can smile. And you can look around at what surrounds you. You can laugh.

If you can breathe, you are living.

From the very beginning, in this society, it is instilled in us that living = accomplishing; that living = finding success and having more, more, more; that living = constantly striving . . . for something.

This is all good and well for a portion of the population. I mean, let's be real - someone has to accomplish things or today we wouldn't have cherry Dilly Bars. Or the Internet (thank you again, Al Gore). The world would be like Woodstock day after day after day. However fun that sounds, it would not be sustainable. And we would all stink.

So yes, God has given each and every one of us gifts and talents and skills to be used to the best of our abilities. So the drive that some people have to get up every morning and conquer the latest computer virus or create the world's tallest cake with fondant icing really was placed within them by God and that's exactly what they should be pursuing.

But others? Those who have been taught that their lives won't amount to anything unless they keep up and do more, earn more, go further? And that's not the path God intends for them? Well, pardon my candor, but they are just pissing in the wind.

We all have different equations. For one, living = touching as many children's lives as possible. For another, living = protecting the public. For someone else, living = entertaining others.

And to add to the confusion, I further believe that our equations change at different seasons of our lives. We are not meant to do one thing over and over and then die. I truly believe that. We live, we grow, we experience, we love, we lose, we grieve, we meet new people, we have children, we have different jobs, we move ... Any tiny or huge thing can shift our direction and our focus.

Which is why life is never what we thought it would be.

I do believe in evolution. Just not in the common, unbiblical sense of the word. I believe in the evolution of each of us, every day of our lives. Living = changing. Living = growing more into ourselves with each passing day.

I am finally, after 39 years, learning to appreciate the evolution of me. Where I've been, what I've experienced, who I've loved - it's all made me who I am today; and will be the filter through which I look at the road stretched out before me.

What is your equation today? This week? This year?


graphic by Billy Alexander